In my report I am proposing a restructure of the staffing at Oregon State Hospital due to Senate Bill #469. This bill is requiring nursing staff to work shifts no longer than 12 hour consecutively. At Oregon State Hospital, a portion of the shifts are 13 hours 20 minutes long, causing the need for a change pending the approval of the bill later this year. My report will cover the current system and propose a change in the staffing with details such as the number of RNs, the number of MHTTs, and the costs of changing the staffing structure.
FACTS AND DISCUSSION
My current proposal seems to be lacking some visual appeal. There is no color, rarely emphasis, nothing that really draws the eye. There are no pictures currently in my presentation aside from a few charts showing staffing. There are headers to break up topics, but no emphasis place on key concepts.
My paragraphs contribute to the lack of appeal in my paper. They are large and cumbersome. Though I have improved with that concept over the term, I think there is still room for improvement. The lack of space between sections also makes the report dense and intimidating to potential readers.
There is no reference to which bill I’m referring to for my paper. This could cause some confusion and lead to disbelief of the reader.
There are no links or references to some of the information I have in my paper, such as the salaries of the different staffing positions.
Future Corrections and Goals for My Proposal
I will be adding some graphics to my proposal to liven up the paper and make it more enjoyable to read. The graphs/charts used within my proposal could use lines, making them easier to read. In addition, I will attempt to add emphasis to key concepts and make the shape of my proposal more aesthetically pleasing.
The length of many of my paragraphs could be shortened. I find it difficult to shorten paragraphs because I don’t want to cut off a thought midway through, but there are places I could try and break up to make it less intimidating. I will also add spaces in between headers and topics to allow for a less dense feel.
I will add in reference to Senate Bill 469 and add a link to this bill into my paper.
Along with adding a link to Senate Bill 469 (as mentioned above), I will add reference in places such as salaries of employees and wherever else seems fit within my paper.
My proposal project has come a long way and is nearly complete. The feedback of my peers has allowed for many revisions and concepts that I had yet to consider. I believe the bulk of my project is done, I just need to add the “finishing touches” to make it a convincing document. By adding some visual appeal and enhancing the facts/information already in my report, I am certain that this will be a persuasive proposal.